Beyond the Meeting Minutes
To maintain trust as a leader, your documentation must reflect both the dialogue (what was said) and the consensus (what was decided). One of the quickest ways to erode that trust is to add “stealth” requirements or exaggerated claims to a meeting summary that were never actually discussed or agreed upon in person. This violates the integrity of the 1:1, as it effectively bypasses the conversation and assumes an agreement—or a severity level—that never happened.
We’ve all been there: under stress, it is tempting to use our team as an outlet for our own pressures. It’s a bit like a frustrated customer taking it out on a support desk. But as leaders, we have to step back and be extra mindful of our emotional state and behavior.
I once had a manager who, after a very candid 1:1 where I provided feedback on her behavior, sent me a cold, robotic summary of “action items” at 11:00 PM. Because there had been disagreements during the session, this late-night email felt less like a recap and more like a defensive maneuver to “cover her back.” It was performative rather than collaborative, and it completely undermined the vulnerability of the 1:1. The goal of a recap is to document a shared reality, not to use your position of authority to push through a one-sided agenda.
Takeaways
- Integrity of Documentation: Meeting minutes should be a reflection of mutual agreement, not a tool for one-sided mandates. If a topic was discussed but the details (like start dates or specific owners) were not agreed on and finalized, do not “fill in the blanks” or exaggerate the outcome later.
- Emotional Regulation: Leadership requires an extra layer of self-awareness. Ensure your personal frustrations aren’t dictating your professional communication. If you are feeling reactive, wait until the next morning to send that summary. Better still, the minute should have been agreed upon within the session itself.
- Power Dynamics in Communication: Recording and sending out communications just so you can “tick a box” is a failure in mentoring. Sending overly formal or “cold” emails late at night can feel aggressive and creates unnecessary anxiety for your team.
- Embrace the “To Be Confirmed”: If a discussion is ongoing, simply label it as “In Discussion” or “TBC.” It is much better to leave a space for future collaboration than to manufacture an agreement that doesn’t exist.
